Megan's East Coast Challenge

The paddle at Halifax's Garrison Brewery became the
challenge point from young Megan for me to take a
closer look at the East Coast craft brewing scene...

Usually when someone challenges me to do anything regarding beer, it usually starts with the words "I bet you can't..." and almost always ends up with the police becoming involved.

But this challenge was a little different. It came from the east coast and was issued by young Megan. I remember meeting Megs as a teenage girl when she was but a high schooler down the street. The daughter of my coworker, Marie, she used to pop into my Beer Store all the time and I remember the talented teen strumming her guitar and singing with a gaggle of her friends out front of the store during our fund-raising May 24th bottle donation drive some years ago. I'm fairly certain that was our best year for collections ever and its success, I would say, landed squarely on pretty Megan's young shoulders.

Now 21, Megan is out on the east coast - Halifax, to be precisely - living with her Dad. I heartily approve of someone her age seeing as much of this country as possible. Indeed, when I was exactly the same age, I drove off to beautiful Banff, Alberta. From there, some new-found buddies and myself hopped into my rusty old Pinto and headed south-west to Pacific Coast Highway #1 where we continued south until we hit Venice, California. We had the time of our lives.

While busking on the Halifax Pier, Megan
found an attentive audience with someone's
chihuahua.  Beauty will always soothe the
savage beast. And probably chihuahuas too

But back to Megan and her challenge. Posting the above picture on Facebook in early-July with me tagged, Megan said, "Hey, Don, if you ever catch yourself this way, try a sampler from Garrison Brewing. An IIPA so hoppy, there's no stronger way to classify it, the creamy nut brown ale, a raspberry ale fit for an East Coast summer, a cider so sweet you could pour it on your pancakes and my favourite, the blonde ale. The best one, however, was a taste of the (Garrison) Tall Ship (Amber Ale) mixed with the raspberry ale. On top of that, with Garrison and Propellor (Brewing, also out of Halifax) taking over the industry out here, I suggest perhaps an East Coast edition of Brew Ha Ha to shed light on some of the smaller, more beloved brands."

Well, I am not one to shy away from a challenge (particularly one less likely to need police intervention) so I suggested to Megan that since her brothers were out east visiting her and their Dad that, well, maybe she could use one of them as a beer mule and get some of that fancy East Coast beer headed back my way. As always, Megs was game and before long, I found myself in possession of a Garrison Imperial IPA, a Propeller Extra Special Bitter, a Boxing Rock Brewing (Shelburne, NS) The Vicar's Cross Double IPA and... well, this was a surprise, a ShipBuilders (Halifax) Cider.

Here's the stellar line-up that Megan arranged for
me straight from the East Coast. As well as these
four, I added a sixer of Propeller IPA into the mix
as it's one of the few easterners that lands here.

I had to ask since I am not a known fan of ciders. Megan laughed that it was the "wildcard" and that the guy at the store strongly pressured her into including the cider in the mix. It was the first one I had in decades and frankly the first one, I both started and finished. What the hell, life is about trying new things so why not? We'll get to those in a minute. Unless you're a really slow reader or have the attention span of a taco. Then maybe, like, an hour.

But as Megan is sitting happily in the middle of a craft-boom in the east, I asked YellowBelly Brewing's (St. John's, Newfoundland) brewmaster Liam Mckenna how the craft beer scene was progressing out there from his perspective."(Craft beer) growth is great," he told me. "Consumer uptake and participation could not be more enthusiastic. There are consistent, quality producers such as Garrison, Granite (Brewery in Halifax), Propeller, Gahan House (Brewery in Charlottetown, PEI). There are also notable up-and-comers like Big Spruce (Brewing in Nyanza, NS) and we also have the genius of Greg Nash who is about to shock us all again out of our stupor with Unfiltered Brewing (opened this past summer in Halifax with partner Andrew Murphy.)"

So it's time to dip our toes into the Atlantic and look at some of these breweries. And let's start with Garrison Brewing since they and Propeller kicked things off decades ago.

Brian Titus, founder of Garrison Brewing in
Halifax, decided that the east coast needed a
flavour infusion back in 1997 and opened up
shop. He said the east coast was the last to
embrace craft beers but that has changed.
Turns out they're not allergic to hops, after all

Megan wasn't far off stating the two breweries were taking over the industry but even more accurately, they basically launched the East Coast craft beer industry. Both began operations in 1997 and are believed to be the craft pioneers of the east. According to a 2009 interview in the Canadian Business Journal, Brian Titus, the founder of Garrison, was a diving officer in the Canadian Navy before deciding to take a different kind of plunge into craft brewing. Knowing that heavyweight Alexander Keith's virtually had the east coast locked up, he decided to move in a different direction. "We were't chasing the light beer crowd," Titus told the CBJ, "(so) we identified a niche that wasn't being served by any of the big breweries. Garrison doesn't try to be all things to all people. When you get into the craft-brewing world, 95 per cent of all beer fits within the Labatt/Molson's category. So right off the bat, we were turning our backs on the mass market, focussing in on the remaining five per cent." To that end, he kicked off with their Irish Red Ale and the ball just started rolling from there. The Imperial IPA (initially called the Imperial Pale Ale, causing confusion) won Beer of the Year at the Canadian Brewing Awards in 2007-2008 and followed that with gold medals at the 2009-2010 World Beer Championships.

John Allen, the founder of Propeller Brewing, stands
beside one of the many brewing kettles in his Halifax
brewery. They sell over 140 growlers of beer daily.

The IIPA was launched "and enthusiastically recieved" at the first annual Halifax Seaport Beer Fest in 2007 and lays claims to being "the hoppiest beer in Atlantic Canada!" The brewery itself, located in the Halifax Seaport District, saw a significant expansion in 2006.

Like Titus, John Allen, the founder of Propeller Brewing, also has his pre-brewing ties to things aquatic, having been an inspector for the Department of Fisheries and Oceans in the 1980s. From there, he became a prop master for the television and film industry before deciding in 1996 that he needed to try something new. According to an interview he gave the Halifax Chronicle-Herald in 2014. the workload in those early years (when he still had one foot in the prop industry, just in case) was "a shocker". But the time he was interviewed last year, Propeller had gone from struggling upstart to producing a million litres of beer annually - a huge jump from the humble beginnings in a former strip club on Gottingen Street where they began. In fact, they have opened a second facility in Dartmouth to keep up with the demand. But Allen told the paper that he was more interested in things running efficiently and keeping costs down than continued growth.

Greg Nash, the founder of Unfiltered Brewing,
which opened this past Summer, is looking to
smother east-coast drinkers with hops very soon.
Even his t-shirt features a distinctive hop bomb.

"Life should be simpler as you go along. At the very least, if you don't make an attempt to do that, it will get hopelessly complicated." Like the Garrison IIPA Megan shipped me, the Propeller ESB is a multiple-award winner, having won three gold medals at the World Beer Championships 2006 through 2008.

But what of these brash newcomers that my man Liam Mckenna mentioned? Well, Greg Nash's Unfiltered Brewing lives up to it name - nothing is filtered. "To me, it's an unnatural process that's not required," he told The Coast newspaper in an interview prior to their opening. "I want my beer raw; I want people to have it in the raw." (Challenge... accepted!! Wait, he does mean drinking naked, right?)  Called "Nova Scotia's undisputed king of hops," it seems a safe bet that won't change with him owning his own place. When he was asked what to expect, he snorted, "A lot of fuckin' hops... I'm most well-known for hops obviously so most of the stuff I make is probably gonna be hoppy." At just 1,200-square-feet, it's one of the province's tinier breweries but Nash said he made maximum use of the limited space at their 6041 North Street location through the use of a lot of specialized brewing equipment.

My only contribution to this East Coast Extravaganza
was the Propellor IPA because frankly, it was the
only East Coast beer I could find at the liquor store!

"I'm skeptical you'll find a brewery as highly-customized in eastern Canada. I'm setting it up to put an awful lot of fluid through here." And after a couple decades of working with other breweries and brewpubs, how does he feel about being his own boss? "The day we open, I'm gonna be prepared for a big fuckin' line-up. It's been a long-time source of frustration for me, working for other people. Well now, I'm doing it fuckin' my way." If the brewer drops hop bombs the way he drops F-bombs, Halifax is in for a treat. The brewery hasn't started bottling yet - just growler fills and a separate tap-room to quaff beers - so "if you want my fucking beer, you're coming to me!" (I try not to swear in this blog, in case my young son, David, reads it some day but I'm not about to censor a brewer that does. Hey, you work around scalding hot wort all day and see if the F-bombs don't fly fast and furious.)

Well, Megan, look at what you started. While I feel I'm giving short shrift to the East Coast scene with these Reader's Digest looks at a few breweries, hopefully we're all getting the sense that while the east was lagging behind the rest of the country, they have now picked up the bat, the ball... and are starting to crank out the dingers.

When Garrison Brewing launched their Klingon Warnog Roggen Dunkel
Ale in November 2014, the brewery got a special intergalactic visit from
the planet, Klingon. The ambassadors all gave the dark beer a thumbs up

So it's time to look at these East Coast gifts and see what was in the prize-bag. We will start exactly where you knew I was gonna start - the Garrison Imperial IPA. At 8% and 81 IBUs (international bitterness units), this has a strong backbone, using four malts while the Cascade and particularly the Amarillo hops (the most noble of the hops) give it a nice jolt. Citrus and grapefruit on the nose slides into some pine on the tongue. It is, precisely as advertised, a dandy hop-loaded treat.

The Boxing Rock Brewing's The Vicar's Cross Double IPA was a step down from that. I'll be honest - it doesn't taste like a double. That said, it would be a decent single IPA, even at 8.5% and 80+ IBUs.

The huge vat with the cannon painted on
outside Garrison Brewing leaves little
doubt as to what's being made inside...

Pouring a cloudy copper, the aroma is a touch too sweet and there's a bit more caramel on the tongue than a double-IPA should have. I mean, it's a good outing, just not an outstanding one. That said, I would love a shot at their Temptation Red Ale as I'm guessing that would be in my wheelhouse.

Okay, while I bought some Propeller IPA for this blog, it totally got hijacked by the Propeller ESB that Megan shipped. Using three malts including a noticeable (on the nose) chocolate one, the 5% brew is lightly hopped to just 30 IBU and is an excellent example of an English style bitter. I would plunk this down in front of any British pub patron and happily say, "Have at it." An outstanding ESB. Their IPA didn't knock me over and is, in fact, somewhat plain. Granted, having it after the Garrison IIPA likely hurt it. At 6.5% and 68 IBU, it too is a bit too malty and sweet on the nose with no real staying power on the tongue. However, I hear they dumped a truckload of Pacific Northwest hops into their Imperial IPA so that's definitely on my wish-list.

And that takes us to the ShipBuilders Cider.

The problem with taking your grandfather to the Propeller
Brewery is that he's likely to say, "Hey, I remember when
this place was a strip club years ago. Oh, me and the boys
had some wild times here. Don't tell your grandmother!"

I wasn't sure what to do with a cider so Beer Bro Stevil St Evil piped in with a suggestion. "Drink it on the patio at Donny's Bar and Grill on a super hot day. You'll find it's actually a nice break from the beers." So that's precisely what I did. And you know what? It was pretty good - crisp, refreshing and well, very apple-y. I'd never buy one but at least I can say I tried a cider and didn't commit hari-kari. Although it must have looked around my fridge and thought, "What the hell am I doing in here?"

So that's my East Coast Challenge all wrapped up in a pretty little bow though now that I've been introduced to their wares, I suspect an east coast visit is in the cards. Why not? All my nieces and nephews are out there, as is Megan and brewmaster Liam, so it would be a helluva party!

"Hey, Blog Boy! Don't you think it's about
time you wrote about some east coast
beers??" Uhhh, okay, Megan, I will...

Well, I started this blog with sweet, young Megan so why not finish it that way too. The eagle-eyed, social media savvy lass recently noticed that Facebook has started publishing "Three years ago today" updates on the users' walls. So she decided to jump ahead of the curve and the other day, she left herself a message for "2018 Megan" which I thought was damn clever. It read:
"Dear 2018 Megan: If you haven't already gone out and made a difference in the world, start today. You have no more time to lose. You can do great things if you set your mind to it and if anyone tells you that you can't, prove them wrong. There is no such thing as a dream too big and other people in the world prove that to us each and every day. Sincerely, 2015 Megan."

And cool things like that are precisely why I am so fond of this young lady. And also inspired to the point that I'm going to do this too!
"Dear 2018 Don: I can't believe you're still alive. Seriously, how is that possible? I hope whatever gutter you've crashed in has Wifi so you can read this! Do you still like beer? Hah, trick question! Buy all the Grade-A plutonium you can find. I'll explain later. By the way, you've been walking around all day with your fly down and your wangle-dangle hanging out. Nice Batman underwear. Smooth move, loser. Sincerely, 2015 Don."
There will be more East Coast in my future so I better start planning a trip. But guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here! Until next time, I remain...

A closer look at YellowBelly Brewery

Sitting on the corner of Water Street and George Street in
downtown St. John's, Newfoundland, the historic building
that houses YellowBelly Brewery and Public House has
been a landmark since 1846 when it was rebuilt after a
huge fire. It is one of the few downtown buildings to have
 survived the Great St John's Fire of 1892. It would appear
St. John's had better luck not being on fire in the 1900s.

Anyone who's been on Facebook for more than 10 minutes knows that the social medium has a way of "suggesting" new friends for you. More often than not, it's people you have never heard of, don't remember at all from high school and as silly as it seems, completely unknown friends of Facebook friends. No, Facebook, I do not want my buddy Bob's church pastor as a "friend". Frankly, Bob's gotten into enough trouble having that holy roller on his Facebook and I am not looking to speed up my inevitable descent into the burning abyss. That said, the day my aunt asked me why I had no pictures on Facebook was the same day I discovered the privacy settings do work exceptionally well.

So thank you, Facebook, but I'll add my friends the three traditional ways - 1) they are actually someone I know and like; 2) at the recommendation of trusted friend or 3) completely by accident and to my horror because I'm still a Smartphone newbie.

Clearly, this one lady named Kathryn is a trusted friend because I did add someone at her suggestion. Granted, it was a bit of a no-brainer as his name was Liam Mckenna (so obviously a Scotsman and it's good to have a few of those as friends so you aren't sitting in that burning abyss alone) and, most importantly, he is a brewmaster.

Cheers from the east end of the country as Liam
McKenna hoists a pint of Robert The Spruce,
the brewery's spruce tip ale. Beers like this,
which the Vikings originated but the Scots
perfected, are right in Liam's wheelhouse...

Now I have known Kathryn all her life as she is the youngest sister of one of my oldest friends, Johnny. In fact, I remember her Mom bringing her outside as a newborn so I could meet her. As an eight or nine year old, I am hoping I said the right thing, such as "Aww, she's pretty" or whatever because let's face it, every newborn bears an uncanny resemblance to ET. Given our age difference, she and I obviously ran in different circles. But I do remember one evening hanging in Johnny's kitchen, pounding back the brews while his folks vacationed out east as they did every Summer. At one point, Kathryn stormed into the kitchen and just started reaming us out. She yelled her piece and then stomped off the way that teenage girls do. "What was that all about?" I asked. "Beats me," shrugged Johnny, "Grab me a beer?" The concerns of younger siblings was not paid much heed in those days. A few decades have passed so the age disparity has faded away - so much so that when Kathryn says you should add this brewmaster on Facebook, I'll add him. I would suggest to Kathryn that this is a great show of respect on my part but, well, again, the dude makes beer.

After getting to know Liam, I finally asked how he knew Kathryn. As it turns out, they attended the University of Guelph together, a place they affectionately refer to as U of Goo. (When my brother went there, we called it Moo U because it has Canada's best agriculture program.) But long story short, he asked her out, she laughed in his face and thus a life-long friendship was born. I feel ya, bro.

Here's some Wexford Wheat, Liam's first brew,
coupled with a split baked rainbow trout and a bed of
rice. Am I the only one who just got really hungry??

The whole family's like that, including my best buddy but excluding their Mom, who's a saint for putting up with the unruly lot of them. And truth to tell, if I remained friends with every woman who laughed in my face, my Facebook friends list would be in the thousands. But he did find a true love of sorts there. The university "represented a way to explore my love of arts and science in such a way that only U of Goo can do. I had no direction in my life at all (but I) discovered fermentation. Then I discovered how to manipulate, manage and control it. My peeps at U of Goo encouraged me forward... and that hasn't stopped since."

Graduating as a microbiologist, Liam spent years as a professional brewer and beverage consultant in North America and Europe. In fact, the beer he created in Dublin between 1996 and 2000 was so good that Guinness actually paid publicans not to stock it. Looking back, he chuckles at the memory. "It was more about inducements, shit like no or low-interest loans in exchange for tap exclusivity. They did not want to allow us in. Fair play. If I had that sort of power and control, I'd do the same. To them, the thought of someone else brewing a stout in Dublin was anathema."

Liam hangs at the Public House bar with Craig Flynn, who
owns the brewery with his wife, Brenda O'Reilly. When the
couple approached Liam asking who might be a good
brewmaster for their new brewery, he suggested himself.

While he noted the Guinness brewery was something of a "strange beast," he is quick to add, "Their brewers, like most all brewers, were the finest kind of people."

Landing back in Toronto, Liam was mostly a beverage consultant (while brewing on the side) and made friends with John Maxwell, the owner of the hugely-popular Irish pub Allens on the Danforth ("He remains my biggest fan.") Through Maxwell, he met Craig Flynn and Brenda O'Reilly, board members of the Canadian Restaurant and Foodservices Association, who had plans to open YellowBelly Brewery in St. John's. With a strong nudge from Maxwell, when the couple approached him looking for a brewmaster, "I suggested me. I needed to stop the peripatetic life of consulting. I had a 10-year old (daughter named Isobel). I love Newfoundland. My talented wife, (Janet), who works in communications was ready for a change. It required little thought. I do not miss Toronto, save the multicultural food."

I haven't even had tried this beer and I already know their
Fighting Irish Red Ale would be my favourite.  Liam calls
it "our most complex beer" with its big malty flavour.

And thus it was that the trio happily landed on The Rock with Liam setting up shop at the brand new YellowBelly Brewery.

Now before we continue with Liam's story, a quick look at the brewery's colourful name because it has a distant connection to me. It harkens back to the Irish immigrants who entered Newfoundland between 1750 and 1830. The Yellowbellies were an Irish faction hailing from County Wexford who famously tied strips of yellow cloth around their stomachs during hurling matches. Following their victories, King George III is said to exclaim, "Well done the Yellowbellies!" My connection? The Redmonds hail from County Wexford.

Once landing in YellowBelly, it was time to start brewing but where to start, what style to begin with? In the end, it was the Wexford Wheat.

The last of the brewery's four mainstay beers
was the St John's Stout. which Liam says is full of
complex, burnt, "roasty" flavour. We're sold...

"When I arrived here, Coors Light was the number one draft (and still is.) People thought if you were microbrewing beer, it was happening in a galvanized tub. I needed a (lighter) 'cross-over' beer that people could come in, have a pint of, join the club and maybe have another." While noting it's a balanced and drinkable American wheat, "it's nothing to write home about... except if you are an aficionado of the style." He is clearly not but he followed that with the YellowBelly Pale Ale, the Fighting Irish Red Ale and finally the St John's Stout.

"All, except for the wheat, have significantly migrated from their original design and recipe launch points. I am comfortable with where they sit right now. (I make) small tweaks now and then but that's just my ADD."

But while he brews that Core-Four for the taps at the Public House, as well as sale to the public, brewmasters all have that creative mad scientist thing happening and that means lots of experimentation and one-offs. Of particular interest to me is the Deep South IPA, a west-coast style weighing in at 6% and 60 IBU (international bitterness units), introduced in August and made with both American and British yeast and Pacific Gem (New Zealand) and Mosaic (Australia) hops. The first batch sold out almost instantly so Liam is back at the tuns and kettles with another batch "back by popular demand."

Created for St Patrick's Day 2015, Liam brewed up his
Paddy's Pale Ale, a malty traditional British style IPA.

But another that caught my eye was his Spruce tip ale, Robert The Spruce. Liam spent considerable time in the Spring and early Summer, harvesting Spruce tips for this 5.5% specialty beer. He took 4.5 kilograms (10 pounds) of the spruce tips and suspended them for 20 minutes in a boiling kettle of 1,100 litres (290 U.S. gallons) hopped wort. As with any new experiment, he "approached the project with great trepidation. I've had too many spruce beers that taste like Pine-Sol floor cleaner." Using citrusy Cascade hops to balance the spruce, in the end, he was happy. "The Spruce was present but not cloying but... there was a berry element there that I couldn't seem to articulate." The brewer offered up a free pint for anyone who could. I wasn't there but I'm throwing boysenberry out there in case that pint was never claimed.

But here's the thing. I was a journalist for more than a couple of decades and you never ever use just one source, even one as reliable and trustworthy as Liam.

Sadly, I measure a man and brewmaster by his Monty
Python and The Holy Grail knowledge. So, of course, I
asked Liam, "What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen
swallow?" When he answered, "West-South African or
European?" I knew he was the real deal. Well done!!!

That meant sending in one of my best operatives, Tommy Salami, a former Beer Store buddy of mine. Now granted, he and his beautiful wife, Nicola, were already in St John's to get their daughter Isabel set up for her first year at Memorial University at precisely the same time Liam was setting Isobel up in Halifax's University of King's College. So naturally, I used Tommy's presence there as an opportunity to spy (uhh, I mean, report) on YellowBelly. His report on the brewery and Public House came back somewhat positive.

"We went in for dinner on a weeknight. Like 99.999% of this city's population, everyone is super-friendly. (The Public House has) a dark, cozy ambiance with a glass wall separating the brewing equipment and the bar area. We sat at the bar for our meal and met Peter, the bartender. He was Asian and this becomes relevant in a second. He said, 'Just shout if you need anything.' I said, 'What if I just shout 'yo'?' He said, 'That works as well but my cousin's name is Yo'." Tommy said the ladies had the fish and chips while he had the filet mignon with veggies. "Both were incredible." As for beers, Tommy stayed true to the Fighting Irish Red through several visits ("Tasty and dark") while Nicola alternated between the Wexford Wheat ("Refreshing") and his Apple Cider ("Crisp, tart and sweet.")

If you happen to land in St. John's, Newfoundland, what
can I say? This place comes very highly recommended.

When they returned for one final visit after Isabel was settled in, Tommy reported that is was the "same cozy friendly atmosphere with a guy on guitar squeezed in between a couple of tables."

Now the one thing I always ask brewers is what is the next big beer style since IPAs are riding the wave now. I told Liam that one told me he thought sour beers; another said barrel-aged beers. So, as a brewer, what does he think? "Fuck sours! That may be a bit strong. Hah! I have been at tastings where the presenter was all poetic about a particular sour beer. Fast-forward to my notes, saying things like, 'Wet ass, shitty diaper, cheese, vomit, dog breath, horse blanket, mouse shit'. I could go on. I wish I was kidding. Obviously not a fan. The pendulum swings. I like the re-emergence of milder styles. I love malts just as much as I love hops. I do not like wood on beer except on rare occasion. I would rather have a decent pint and (then) lick a plank. It would be generally more enjoyable."

So what then? "I like to think the next wave will be well-made, balance, drinkable, shelf-stable beers. As a brewer, I think we make liquid bread."

Here's the paddle of YellowBelly's Core-Four forward and
then backwards. The Wexford Wheat, YellowBelly Pale
Ale, the Fighting Irish Red Ale and the St. John's Stout.

He continued: "The analogy is near-perfect historically, sociologically, economically and nutritionally. What could be the point of making a loaf of bread that people only want one slice of?" He added with a laugh, "I should temporarily ignore that loaf of pumpernickel in my freezer although it's been there for a year. I should probably throw that out."

He closed out by noting, "It is a fond hope that we may some day share a pint or two. I know that would be great. You are always welcome here in St. John's." Sweet. Now on the Bucket List between "fly a helicopter" and "die in bed in the arms of a Las Vegas showgirl." Okay, this one may be a little easier, actually. Liam, we will meet... and drink YellowBelly beers. Next up, I promised young Megan that I would do the East Coast Challenge before Summer was over. I started with Liam for the east coast angle and now I have two days to do Megan's portion before Summer is over. Put me on the clock! But guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here!! Until next time, I remain...

Beer Exchange Program lives on!!!

Who's that dashing man in the kilt? It's none other than
Brian Wilson, the brewmaster at Highlander Brewing
Company in South River, Ontario. This past weekend,
the brewery collected first place at the North Bay Craft
Beer Expo, held at the Voyager Inn's Convention Centre

A couple of weeks back, I wrote about a tiny South River, Ontario brewery in a blog entitled "A closer look at Highlander Brew Co." Had a great chat with their brewmaster Brian Wilson about beers and pipe bands and his preference of malt-driven over hoppiness. I have a buddy with a family cottage on Eagle Lake in South River so the next time I am there, I will pop into the brewery for a closer look, hopefully meet Brian and of course, drink their outstanding beer!

Well, it turns out that I'm not the only drinker enthusiastic about their products as Highlander won first place at the North Bay Craft Beer Expo held on September 12 at the city's Voyager Inn Convention Centre. The tiny brewery won the top prize against such Ontario craft brewing stalwarts as Beau's All Natural Brewing, Steam Whistle Brewing, Muskoka Brewing, Sudbury's newer Stack Brewing, Hockley Valley Brewing (presently the only craft offering at Toronto's Rogers Centre), Manitoulin Island Brewing and hometown favourite, North Bay's New Ontario Brewing Co. And while several of my favourites were there, I was nonetheless thrilled to see Highlander take top spot. Muskoka can take some consolation in the fact that Mad Tom IPA has been my Summer go-to beer and my consumption alone has likely seen an uncanny sales spike.

So Highlander Brewing Company has been hiding an
American Pale Ale on me all this time? I will find this
Beerded Lady as no Highlander beer goes untried!!!!

But here's the power of social media. Not long after I posted my Highlander blog onto Twitter, I soon became engaged in a tweet-fest with a lady named Heather Bee, who read the blog and had visited the brewery for the first time a couple of months back, promptly declaring them to be "my best discovery of the Summer!" She confessed that she had missed the Blacksmith Smoked Porter (my personal favourite) but loved the Scottish Ale, the Wee Heavy Scotch Ale and the Beerded Lady American Pale Ale. Uh, hello, the Beerded what-now? Well, it turns out there is a Highlander product that not only have I not tried but I didn't even know existed. Clearly, Heather was a fan as she bought a six-pack after sampling it and went back in a couple of days for some more. I am now on the prowl for it.

Okay, the clocks at Donny's Bar and Grill are telling me it's Beer O'Clock here which can only mean one thing - I either forget to spring forward in April or fall back last October. Regardless, it does mean the clock in my car is correct for at least half the year. The other half of the year, I just do the Math.

Straight from New Zealand comes the Panhead Triple Eye
Monstrous Pale and the 4 Horsemen of the Hopocalpyse
Triple IPA. That 4 Horsemen is one of the best beers ever!

Well, with my young beer technician Kylie relinquishing her duties at Rib Eye Jack's Ale House in Burlington, swapping it for a month-long holiday in Greece (good frikkin' call!!!), I assumed my Beer Exchange Program was on hold or at least on Summer Vacation. Turns out the program actually did live on in her absence as several other craft beer lovers jumped in to fill the void.

Beer Bro Stevil St Evil stepped up huge as he mailed me four top-flight New Zealand beers in a care package marked "souvenirs". The Wellington resident actually did tuck a few actual souvenirs in the package - a cool t-shirt from Behemoth Brewing, a Wellington Lions rugby jersey (courtesy of NZ beer writer Neil Miller) and an enthusiastically-received Ant-Man bobblehead doll for my boy, David.

As well as being incredibly rich and
complex,  Garage Project has put this
in a bottle with a sick-looking label!

Well, Stevil did not hold back in the beer department, sending me some monsters with skull-crushingly-high alcohol content - the 14% Four Horseman of the Hopocalypse Intergalactic Imperial IPA, the 13% Panhead Custom Ale's Triple Eye Monstrous Pale Ale, a 11.2% Garage Project (his local brewery) Hellbender barleywine and 9.5% Garage Project Louisiana Voodoo Queen herb-spiced ale. Uhhh, whoa... that's okay. I wasn't really using the few remaining brain cells I have. And if I go blind, well, I've always wanted a dog. The boys at Garage Project even tell you on the bottle how many "standard drinks" - 12 oz (355ml) beers at 5% - each of their offerings are with Hellbender equaling 5.7 and Voodoo Queen equaling 4.9. That'll give you an idea of how many standard drinks the other two high-octane beers contain. Unbeknownst to them, Canada Post was basically handing me over a box filled with moonshine masquerading as beer.

Well, let's start with the big-gun, the Four Horsemen of the Hopocalypse Triple-IPA. The collaborative effort from the hop-crazed New Zealand brewmasters at Epic Brewing (Luke Nicholas), Fork Brewing (Kelly Ryan), Liberty Brewing (Joseph Wood) and Hallertau Brewing (Stephen Plowman) getting together with one shared goal - to make the hoppiest triple-IPA ever as a collective group.

When I had this beer from Steve, I was ♫ walking on
sunshine and don't it feel so good! ♫ A dynamite IPA...

I'll include the video they filmed about making of this beer at the end but the reason the four got together was that they used so many hops - an obscene amount, actually - that it would be financially unfeasible for any one brewery to do it solo. Share the tumultuous glory, split the fiscal loss, as it were. (To put this into Ontario terms, imagine if the brewmasters at Nickel Brook, Great Lakes, Flying Monkeys and Sawdust City all got together to make a triple-IPA. If you're American, the equivalent would be the brewmasters at Stone, Lagunitas, Sierra Nevada and Doghead Fish doing likewise.)

Okay, let's check out this hop monster. Hmmm, imagine you bought a shotgun and sawed off both barrels. Fill the gun with hops. Stick out your tongue. Aim gun at tongue. Pull the trigger. So yeah, something like that. The aroma was massive - citrus, grapefruit, tropical fruit - sweet baby Jeebus, everything! But, much to my surprise, what you did not smell was the booze. And the taste? Everything I smelled plus a bit of pine, a slight sweetness and again, no alcohol though I could feel its warmth down my throat. One of those incredibly rare beers (a very limited edition) that you actually feel honoured to drink. As close to a perfect beer as I have ever had. The Kate Upton of beers.

"State your mission!" "I seek the Holy Grail"
Well, how about that? Thanks to Rib Eye
Jack's GM Steve, I found the Holy Grail...

The Panhead Custom Ale's Triple Eye Monstrous Pale Ale was an interesting one. Very sweet smelling on the nose, that also turned up in the taste as I got both cherry and rock candy (the kind your grandma kept in that old-style bowl in her living room) on the tongue. Obviously hopped to the gills at, well, I can't find the IBU (international bitterness units) anywhere but well over 100 (that's high), a slight smokiness quells the sweetness to a large degree. In all honesty, I should have tried this before the Four Horsemen. I went out of order and this may have suffered a little because of that. Still, no doubt, one head-banger of a brew.

The two Garage Project beers are being held for a separate piece on the brewery itself as it's Stevil's home brewery, much as Nickel Brook is mine. Despite living 14,000 kilometres (8,800 miles) away, I have now had a few of their beers and frankly, I love how the story about how the boys turned an old gas station into a brewery four years ago. I will be relying heavily on Stevil St Evil's input for that piece in the near future. That's usually dangerous. But that's okay, Danger is my middle name. *Checks birth certificate* Okay, actually it's Ian. "Donald Ian!" when my Scottish Mom was pissed at me.

Gawd bless my former coworker Gordo as he jumped into
the Beer Exchange Program. While neither of these beers,
as well as the Junction Craft Brewery's Engineer IPA,
will end up on my Best of 2015 list, he definitely gets an
A+ for effort when he picked me up this assortment...

Okay, back to it. While Kylie was romping on the Greek beaches, another Steve stepped up to the plate. Her boss and Rib Eye Jack's general manager Steve jumped into the Beer Exchange Program, gifting me with a Rainhard Brewing (Toronto) Armed 'N' Citra Pale Ale (one for another time, as well) and two American IPAs that could be best described as nectars of the gods.

But as well as being a wine sommelier, Rib Eye Steve is also a beer expert so when a Lawson's Finest Liquids (Warren, Vermont) Sip of Sunshine IPA and The Alchemist (Waterbury, Vermont) Heady Topper IPA landed in my lap from him, they came with instructions from the man himself. The Sip of Sunshine was to be sampled first, followed by the Heady Topper and I was to pay attention to how long the flavour danced on my tongue. There were other instructions to be sure but one of his pretty waitresses walked by and, well, I remember that first instruction anyway. That's not bad for the easily distracted.

Hmmm, a Beer Fest... in October? Yeah, let's
face it. This is as close to Oktoberfest as you're
gonna get so head on over to Rib Eye Jack's
Ale House (Harvester Road, 50 feet east of
Walker's Line in Burlington and get your
tickets before they're gone. Over 20 breweries,
five food stations, a free stein and beer, beer,
wonderful beer, all for $25. You can't go wrong.

Let's start with the Sip of Sunshine IPA since I was instructed to - apparently, if you want me to do what I'm told, simply throw beer into the mix. (I hope my exes see the error of their ways now.) Okay, this 8%, 75-80 IBU brew is all grapefruit and mango on the nose, even moreso on the tongue. And just as Rib Eye Steve suggested, it actually stayed on my tongue, even tingled a little, long after the beer was holding a frat party in my stomach with the Four Horsemen. Steve suggests this is one of the best double-IPAs in Vermont and I am not about to disagree.

Which brings us to 8%, 75 IBU Heady Topper - the Holy Grail of east-coast double-IPAs. If you land in Vermont and if you happen to wander into a store at exactly the right time, you might score a four-pack of The Alchemist Brewery's beer. Maybe. If you're exceptionally lucky. It's that in demand and that scarce. Somehow Steve managed to grab some, one of which he gave to me. (Attention Nobel Peace Prize judges: Steve's application is on its way. If you could give it due consideration as I spent at least 15 minutes filling it out. Please excuse the crayon.) I got citrus, grapefruit, mango on the nose while on the tongue, I got... well, I'll let my voice recording take it from here. "Oh my... oh sh*t... that is so freaking good. Just as Steve said, this stays on your tongue for a while. Not going away anytime soon. Oh geez, this is everything they said it would be. Wow, there's some resin on the tongue." This is a once-in-a-lifetime beer. One that will send Beer Bro Glenn into a fit of jealous envy so hey, I got that going for me...

Meanwhile in a very frightening Parallel
Universe where up is down, left is right and
cats fornicate with dogs, this "craft beer"
display is set up in a Grocery Store from Hell

The final contributor to the Beer Exchange Program was my former coworker, Gordo, which is a little surprising as he is our resident Coors Light-Canadian drinker (though if Carlsburg Lite is on sale, he's all over that.) But four of us were off to the Burlington Rib-Fest on its opening night and stopped at Gordo's for our pre-drink as he lives across the street from Spencer Smith Park. Gordo had ventured into the nearest LCBO to find some specialty beers for me and upon my arrival, he happily presented me with a Junction Craft Brewery Engineer IPA, a Railway City Brewing (St Thomas, Ontario) Dead Elephant IPA and a Descendants Beer and Beverage Co's (Wellesley, Ontario) Harbinger Pale Ale. While the Dead Elephant is on the light side, the Engineer IPA actually grew on both myself and Stevil during his Canadian sojourn, starting at malty but slowly sliding towards hops with each progressive sip. The Harbinger was a new one for me. At 5.6% and 38 IBU, it's a malt-driven pale ale so a more traditional style. The nose was mostly sweet, slightly hoppy with some nice fruit on the tongue. It won't blow you away but is a good example of the malty style. But frankly, what impressed me the most was Gordo's efforts on my behalf. While we worked together, we had a brotherly relationship, meaning simply we insulted the hell out of each other. I invented the word "dipshidiot" to taunt him and suggested he was the reason that shampoo companies feel compelled to put instructions on the bottle. That was gentle teasing next to what he would say about me.

If you consider yourself too high-class for shower
beers, then you are an amateur and we can never be
friends. Also who makes this awesome beer holder??

But that's what brothers do. Harass the hell out of each other. So to Gordo, I will say, "Hey, way to finally step up, loser!" Okay, that's it for this edition. I have been off for a while as my boss gave me the bloody flu so now I have a lot of catch-up to play with this thing. Next up (this weekend) is a real treat as I take a closer look at YellowBelly Brewery in St. John's, Newfoundand after a ribald chat with their hilarious and occasionally-raunchy brewmaster Liam Mckenna. I sent one of my best operative, Tommy Salami, into the pub/brewery as an advance scout when he was dropping off his daughter at Memorial University a couple of weeks back. I also will have a look at the East Coast Craft Beer Scene after receiving a care-package from my young friend, Megan. Then there's that Rainhard Armed 'N' Citra Pale Ale, a Rogue Ale (Ashland, Oregon) Srirachi Hot Stout (muy caliente), a bunch of Mikkeller (Denmark) beers, a Brewdog (Ellon, Scotland) Punk IPA, a couple from Sawdust City in Gravenhurst... you know what? There's too many to mention. I hasten to add if you are worried about my beer consumption that I only drink on holidays. All 365 of them. But guys and dolls, while I will be back in two days, that's it, that's all and I am outta here!!! Here's that Four Horsemen of the Hopocalypse video right: HERE!!! And while I'm at it, here's the latest commercial from the boys at Longslice Brewing in Toronto: These Guys Crack Me Up! Owner Jimmy Peat is promising two more to come! Until next time, I remain, as always...

The Summer of Music and Beer and Friends...

♫ Sittin' in the morning sun, I'll be sittin' when the
evening comes... ♫ Johnny chillin' on the dock of the
bay while my Mad Tom IPA gets some sun by my chair.

♫ Oh let the sun beat down upon my face, stars to fill my dreams ♫

You may or may not recognize the opening lyrics of the 1975 classic Kashmir by Led Zeppelin. If you don't, turn off your dance music radio station immediately and head directly to You-Tube. While the song itself has nothing to a long-standing border dispute of the Kashmir region near India and Pakistan (they've fought three wars over it), the words that kick it off have always just made me think of Summer. (Zep singer Robert Plant wrote the lyrics while being shuttled through a nasty stretch of the Sahara Desert in south Morocco - pretty damn far from Kashmir.) And with the arrival of September, it seems we all have to bid adieu to the season.

This Summer, I got everything I wanted or needed from beer but even moreso from friends. My Summer started back in May when my high school friends got together for a reunion at Sixth Line Pub and Sports Bar in Oakville, where old friendships were renewed, relived and refreshed... and a copious amount of alcohol was consumed.

Soldiers, I'll be frank. Some of you will not get out
alive. But know that you are fighting the most noble
battle a beer can - the war against Donny's liver...

Then came June and the arrival of Stevil St Evil from Wellington, New Zealand to Donny's Bar and Grill where an obscene amount of beer was consumed over a five-day span. How obscene? If we sent the footage of our 120 hours of beer consumption to Porn-Hub, they would refuse to post it on the grounds of common decency. Also they don't have a category called "Two daft wankers drinking a stupid amount of beer." (Don't bother looking - I checked.)

The month of July saw my brother, Gary, and his girlfriend Phe land here from Valencia, Spain one night where only quasi-ridiculous amounts of beer were consumed. I felt like I was growing as a person with a more subtle level of ridiculous consumption. But August? Baby, that month was the bomb, mixing both tranquility and mayhem, courtesy of my two oldest friends, Johnny and Dave. Now Dave, Johnny and I have all known each other since the age of five, all moving into a just-being-built neighbourhood in Oakville at the same time several decades back. We ate at each other's house, went to the same public and high school, played road hockey together, were in the Cub Scouts together. But years pass and at some point, we all turned legal drinking age... and then things pretty much went to hell...

"Hey, Vince Neil of Motley Crue, I'm Dave! Pleasure to
meet you! You want me to sign some stuff for you guys?
Name it, man. I brought a Sharpie! I'm good to go here!"

So let's start with Johnny since he's first on-deck, August-wise. As the operations manager of the large St Louis Wings franchises in Canada, he got a shot at his boss' cottage for a few days and of course, he took him up on it. I got an invite text from him for me and my boy, David (actually named after Dave), checked my schedule and hey, we were cleared for take-off. So off my boy and I motored to Ono-Medonte County just north of Barrie one fine morning to a cottage on Lake Simcoe. And those "Speed enforced by aircraft" signs on Highway 11? Yeah, they have no idea how much I wanna be pulled over by an F-16.

Now outside of North America, I'm not sure if cottages are a big deal. I suspect they're not. But in Canada and the United States, going to the cottage in the Summer is a sacred institution. We landed on Wednesday with a birthday gift for Johnny - 24 cans of beer - which David presented to him as we sang (at my son's insistence) Happy Birthday.

♫ Oh let the beer drip down upon my face,
hops to fill my dreams ♫ Led Zeppelin
lead singer Robert Plant does a delicate
balancing act with a beer on his forehead

Johnny was clearly pleased but asked David, "When's my birthday?" My boy was ready for his Uncle Johnny. "Friday!" An easy smile crossed his face as Johnny barked happily, "Well, I'm glad one of us knows!" Like me, he pretty much stopped counting at 21. Once you're legal world-wide, who cares? Every birthday after that is gravy, man. And we've had more than our fair share of gravy. Johnny was there with his daughter, Julia (my god-daughter) and three of her dance troupe friends, At some point in the past, my very attentive Julia had pointed out to her Dad that Journey's Don't Stop Believing was David's favourite song. So Johnny programmed it (with many other classic hits) into his iPod, hooked it up to a stereo and played it. David and the four girls all stopped cold when it came on and, well, started singing their hearts out. It was quite something to hear and pretty much one of my favourite musical moments from the Summer of '15. (Oh, there's more music coming.)

However, at the cottage, I had a logistics issue. I knew, of course, that there would be continuous beer drinking because, well, me and Johnny got together. But at the same time, our kids and other people's kids were with us so there had to be a modicum of restraint shown. Now, of course, I knew Johnny would be happy with his beloved Budweiser, which weighs in at the Canadian lager norm of 5%. But I'm in cottage country so hell, yeah, I gotta drink Muskoka Brewing's Mad Tom IPA. Muskoka is cottage country in Ontario. At 6.4%, it's not overtly strong but I know we're gonna be lazing on the dock, pretending to fish and well, 6.4% can wreck a little havoc on your senses in the hot Summer sun. So I figured, hey, we're just north of Barrie - why not throw local Flying Monkeys Brewing's Genius of Suburbia into the mix? At 3.8%, this full-bodied, nicely-hopped India Session Ale would provide the perfect counter-balance. And that's what I did, going back-and-forth between the two, averaging out at 5.1%.

Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee, right
above us, totally playing upside-down on his
wicked drum roller coaster at the ACC...

When I explained this all to co-worker Jay upon my return, he listened attentively and noted simply, "I like the way you do Math." Anyway, it was everything a cottage should be and more - the kids swam in Lake Simcoe and later made S'Mores over the campfire, many ghost stories were told and Johnny and me? Well, we tucked happily into our respective suds, enjoying tranquility with our young'uns. Great to be with a best bud in that setting. But he pointed our something interesting to me. The cottage had Wifi and at one point during the day, he motioned over to the girls and said, "Check that out." All four were staring at their Smartphones. "Welcome to Cottaging 2015," he grinned.

Two weekends later, I got together with Dave and his lady, Joann (my favourite 'Murican), for a nasty little bit of mayhem - Motley Crue's last gig at the Air Canada Centre in Toronto as the band is packing it in for good on December 31. That's when August got loud. Really frikkin' loud. Once my concert companion, Leslie, arrived from Barrie, we jetted into Toronto the only way you go to see the Crue - in a big-ass limousine.

This beautiful bull terrier is Paul From
Shipping, the wonder-dog of Vince, our
Steam Whistle driver. He comes along
for the ride every once in a while. Paul
is one of the sweetest dogs I've ever met
and often uses our backyard as a pee stop

As a financial adviser/investor, Dave has always been particular about his modes of transportation. And me? Hey, I'm just along for the sick ride. We went in four hours before the show even started because Dave and Jo had paid extra to do the meet-and-greet with the band. That meant the long haul for me so once again, the awesome Genius of Suburbia ISA was called into active beer duty to keep me on an even keel. (That beer saved my ass twice this Summer. Thank you, Flying Monkeys - you rock like the Crue!) The nearby bar that Leslie and I chilled at near the ACC while the rowdy limo kids did their meet-and-greet had Goose Island Honker Ale on tap so my beer needs for the day were nicely met.

After Alice Cooper opened (seriously the same show since 1983 but still awesome), the Crue came out and destroyed the ACC. Unbelievable! It's funny because all my co-workers are too young to remember Motley Crue during their 1980s heyday (though there were stacks of 20 to 30 year olds in the crowd) but to a person, they all know one member of the band - drummer Tommy Lee. "I sure remember that Tommy Lee-Pamela Anderson sex video when I was a teenager," said Jay. Ahhh, don't we all? Usually when a sex tape leaks onto the internet, it's called a scandal. But if a member of Motley Crue is in it, they just call it promotion. But this blog is supposed to be about beer, not kick-ass music so the clocks on the walls of Donny's Bar and Grill are screaming, "Get to it, lard-ass!"

My main men, Trishan, Josher and Jonny held a little
Craft Beer Competition a couple of weeks back and
while nine beers competed, only three were crowned!

But we're not starting with me. No, we're starting with the boys from my last Beer Store who had themselves a little Steak and Craft Beer Competition Dinner (a Beer-B-Que?) a few weeks back. The boys start with Trishan (aka Tree), one of the classier dudes I've ever worked with. This guy knows fine wine, fine food, fine everything. Frankly, I'm surprised he even talks to us, being as we are something of a motley crew ourselves. Then there's Josh, the store's chill surfer dude. Never seen Josher too upset about anything. And finally there's Jonny, our lovable doofus. Jonny will always be one of my favourites simply because he's a really good man... but at times, a very bad boy. But if you asked me to pick one friend to have my back in a fight, no question - Jonny all the way - he's the size of a moose and a street-scrapper. When it comes to my main man Jonny, I'll tell you this - if we were going down on a ship and there was only one life-jacket left, well, I'd really miss the guy!

The beers in contention for the lads' Steak and Craft Beer
Night were, from left, Side Launch's Wheat, Haliburton
Highland Brewing's Abbey Ale, Flying Monkeys' 12
Minutes to Destiny Hibiscus Pale Lager, Erdinger's
Dunkel, Boulevard Brewing's Tank 7 Farmhouse Ale,
Innis & Gunn Oak-Aged Beer, Stone Brewing IPA and
Mad and Noisy Brewing's Hop Weisen? So who won?

But the boys had compiled an outstanding selection of beers for the competition - Side Launch Brewing's (Collingwood) Wheat, a traditional weissebier, a Haliburton Highlands Brewing Abbey Ale (I've never had the pleasure of this one), a Flying Monkeys Brewing 12 Minutes To Destiny Hibiscus Pale Lager (I'll get to that in a minute), an Erdinger (Erding, Germany) Dunkel, an outstanding German dark wheat, Boulevard Brewing (Kansas City) Tank 7 Farmhouse Ale, a Belgian-style saison with plenty of punch, an Innis & Gunn (Edinburgh, Scotland) Oak-Aged Ale (one of my favourites), a Stone Brewing (Escondido, California) IPA (if this isn't one of the winners, heads will roll) and a Mad and Noisy (Creemore, Ontario) Hop Weizen, a wheat that packs a nifty hop kick. Well, first of all, the boys really crossed the board with these nine, each a different style so that's impressive off the top. Even the three wheats were unique styles, varying in large degrees. After the steaks were downed and the nine distinctly different brews were sampled, three winners did emerge - the Stone IPA, the 12 Minutes to Destiny and the Tank 7 Farmhouse Ale.

I love the top of the Lagunitas Hop Stoopid IIPA
label with the tagline: 102 IBU 4 U. Very clever!

According to Josher, the Stone IPA was the flat-out consensus winner but as far as I concerned, these guys were the winners with their varied selection. They really crossed the beer map with these nine. But I hadn't had the 12 Minutes to Destiny Hibiscus Pale Lager, simply because I couldn't find it. Tree told me his sample came from a customer who had visited the Barrie brewery. But gawd bless Jonny, he finally tracked it down at an Oakville Beer Store but warned his cohorts, "Don't tell Donny until I get mine first!" The fear is, of course, if I get there first, there will be none left for the others. I'll be honest - that fear is not completely unwarranted. So I found some and what Flying Monkeys has created is a sweet Summer beer. Pouring a medium red, it's not fruit on the nose - it's actual fruit juice on the nose. And on the tongue, very sweet raspberry. I had no idea what a hibiscus was (turns out it's a flower) but this 4.1% pale lager is very much a fruit beer, a style Highlander brewmaster Brian told me was on the rise. While a little too sweet for me, it is an interesting take on a Summer beer!

Well, Kylie, my beer technician from Rib Eye Jack's Ale House, is on vacation in Greece for a month (lucky girl) but she didn't leave me empty-handed before her departure.

This North Coast Brewing Old Stock Ale was
so heavy in malts, it was practically a barley-
wine. Thick, meaty, malty and very very tasty!

She gifted me with a Lagunitas Brewing (Petaluma, California) Hop Stoopid Imperial IPA and a Bells Brewing (Gatesburg, Michigan) Two-Hearted Ale IPA. Both outstanding, both perfect 100s on RateBeer so I was sure to thank her from across the Atlantic as she happily soaks up the Greece sunshine and culture. The 8% Hop Stoopid pours a golden-copper colour and is all tropical fruit on the nose while the bitter grapefruit clings to your tongue like Jack clung to that door in Titanic before that bitch Rose let him die. (I'm sorry but I still think there was room for two on that door!) The 7%, roughly 85 IBU (international bitterness units) Two-Hearted was equally enjoyable, mostly floral and pine on the nose while citrus on the tongue but without the staying power of the Hop Stoopid. If you held a gun to my head, I would give the Hop Stoopid a slight edge but frankly, why are you resorting to violence? Is this how your parents brought you up? I don't think so.

The next beer is actually a mistake. Beer Bro Glenn crossed the USA border for one of his illicit beer runs and accidentally grabbed some North Coast Brewing (Fort Bragg, California) Old Stock Ale 2014. He told me he meant to grab the IPA next to it but, well, he missed and didn't discover that until he returned to Canada. What can I say? Nice mistake!

What has two thumbs, loves hop and won't let
the terrorists win? THIS GUY right here!!!
Sweet shirt came courtesy of Stevil St Evil...

At 11.8%, this dark, thick, rich ale is nothing but malts, brewed with Maris Otter Pale Malt and Fuggles Hops, both imported from England. Described as an Old Ale, this is a borderline barleywine with its deep complexity. All dark fruit on the nose, the essence of plum and toffee on the tongue with its high ABV barely masked. Definitely not a Summer beer but man, could I drink this in the Winter!

Well, I have a lot of beer coming up as a care package from New Zealand from Stevil St Evil containing a Four Horsemen of the Hopocalpyse Triple IPA, a Panhead Ales Triple Eye Monstrous Pale Ale, a Garage Project Hellbender barleywine and a Garage Project Louisiana Voodoo Queen spice beer landed here not long ago. Then Rib Eye Jacks' general manager Steve sweetened the pot with his contribution to the Donny Beer Fund of The Alchemist (Waterbury, Vermont) Heady Topper IPA and Lawson's Finest Liquids (Warren, Vermont) Sip of Sunshine IPA and then finally my young friend, Megan, gifted me with two Imperial IPAs from Nova Scotia, one ESB and a cider. Why a cider? Not sure but it may go down good in this heat-wave!

Oh crap! We're coming up to this time of the
year again, aren't we? Stupid pumpkin beers.

So I've got lots of beers coming up. But unfortunately, as we head into Autumn, it means the return of those goddamn pumpkin beers, the scourge of the craft beer world. Fortunately, I discovered the best way to enjoy a pumpkin beer last year. Follow these simple steps:
1) Find a frosty mug, preferable one that's been in the freezer. 2) Carefully pour pumpkin beer into the mug on a 45-degree angle. 3) Carefully pour it down the drain using a 180-degree upward-to-downward hand rotation. 4) Bury that contaminated glass in the backyard and get a fresh one. 5) Refill new glass with a tasty IPA. 6) You're welcome!

And with all of these music, beers and beer-drinking friends stories here, what have you learned today? Simply this. My support group can out-drink your support group eight ways to Sunday. Don't even challenge us. Frankly, we'll throw out our two big guns, Stevil St Evil and Rib Eye Jacks' Steve - respectively, the Joe Montana and Dan Marino of Beer Drinking - and simply watch you fall to the wayside. Or gutter, more accurately. Oh and what's a cottage like without Wifi? My old college buddy, Dennis, found out the hard way and you can read all about it, right: HERE! But guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here! Until next time, I remain...