A stage by any other name...

This is one of Toronto's premier live concert venues, the Molson
Amphitheatre, recently renamed the Budweiser Stage. The
rectangular box on the left is the stage where the bands play; the
fan-shaped awning is where the rich people sit, protected from
the elements; the uncovered portion is where people like me from
Burlington sit and the sloped lawn is where meth-heads, hobos and
the unwashed sit. Being outside, it's a bit of a fair-weather facility.

There was a bit of a dust-up in the Toronto area in early January as it was announced that the Molson Amphitheatre was going to be renamed the Budweiser Stage.

When the name change hit the cyberwaves on January 6, outrage was tweeted left, right and centre... and then left and right again because of Welcome to the Twitter Generation reasons.

Not sure I saw even one positive response. That can be expected of any change so I shrugged it off because I don't think I've ever called it anything except "The Amphitheatre." And given that's a five-syllable word and I am notoriously lazy, I'm genuinely surprised I didn't shorten it to "The Amp" or something similarly imbecilic. I'm not a man of many words... that is unless you're stuck reading this.

But the general complaint seemed the be that they were taking a very Canadian name and giving it an American name by switching it to Budweiser. I get that. Even though Bud is brewed up here by Labatt, the name is identifiable as American to most. I would suggest the two best-known beers in the world are Bud and Heineken.

For shits and giggles reasons, Anheuser-Busch
renamed Budweiser "America" last Summer.
I thought it was the craziest thing that I had ever
heard. That is, until I sold a 24-pack of  Molson
"Canadian" at the Beer Store. We'd never name
a beer after our country. Just our entire heritage

However, since Twitter is not a fact-based but rather an opinion-based social media platform, the fury rained down hard with dozens declaring they would never call it the Budweiser Stage and would remain loyal to calling it the Molson Amphitheatre forever. I absolutely get that. The SkyDome, where the Toronto Blue Jays strut their stuff, was renamed the Rogers Centre in 2005 when cellular mega-giant Rogers Communications bought the team. To this day, if someone says "Rogers Centre" to me, my brain still has to translate that back to me as "oh right, he means the SkyDome." Old habits die hard. I still don't understand temperatures until I convert them from Celsius to Fahrenheit in my head.

As to the outrage, anything hashtagged dies quickly. Molson's isn't totally Canadian anymore as they merged with the Colorado-based Coors back in 2005. While it was called a "merger of equals" at that time, since Coors as a corporation was worth $5 billion at the time and Molson's was worth $506 million, it's kind of a Chihuahua and Great Dane sharing the same doghouse scenario. The bigger dog has more sleeping space, thus higher doghouse proprietary ownership. And 10 years earlier than that, Labatt was bought by Belgian mega-conglomerate Interbrew, now AB-InBev. While Anheuser-Busch is huge, the Bud name may be as much Belgium's property as it is America's. Except all of us still associate it with America. And NFL football, baby!! Including last night's Super Bowl, featuring the most insane comeback yet.

You wanna say your car is Canadian? Well, it better have
gull-wing doors because only the Bricklin can make that
claim. And there's not many of those around anymore...

Don't get me wrong. Up here, our two big macro-breweries are staffed by Canadians brewing Canadian-soil beer; the product is transported by Canadian drivers and ultimately sold by Canadians to other Canadians. Hell, I'm one of the vendors myself. But the ownership? Yeah, it's outside the Land of Maple Syrup. Still, unless you're driving a Bricklin, which was manufactured for exactly one year (1975-76) in a New Brunswick plant, your car, whether made here or not (it likely was), was manufactured by a company owned outside of Canada. That's just corporate reality in 2017 (or 2005... or 1995.) So really, call that concert venue on the lake anything you want. If we like the band, we'll still go. If the Foo Fighters played there, they could call it the Diarrhea Stage. We'd still line up.

When I spotted a single six-pack of the Stone Delicious IPA
at the Dundurn LCBO in Hamilton, I gasped in amazement
then shrieked with excitement. And when people stopped
staring at me, I just went ahead and bought the damn beer.

But since we're talking about Canadian and American things which maybe aren't so much anymore, let's talk about some Canadian and American craft beers which are precisely that. Alphabetically, America's up first so let's start in Escondido, California with some of Stone Brewing's Delicious IPA. Now I was more than a little spooked to read that this beer was "gluten-reduced." All I know about gluten is that it's grains, such as wheat, barley (malts) and rye, all of which are commonly used in brewing. But I do know this. If a doctor said I couldn't eat foods with gluten and handed me a list that included bread, cereal, pasta, cakes, cookies, pastries and 99.999% of all the beers in the world, I'd probably look at him and ask, "Are you sure it's not just a stroke?"

So I went to Stone's website to see if gluten-reduced meant gluten-free. Basically, I wanted to know if you suffer from Celiac, is this beer gonna tear the snot out of your small intestine?

At first, Rib Eye Jack's had this beer as their
Thursday Night Rotating Tap offering. Within a
week or two, it became part of their refrigerator's
line-up and at present, my go-to IPA, depending
on what's pouring from the Great Lakes Brewing
tap at the bar. It's a tasty little IPA, for certain...

Well, yeah, turns out there are trace amounts of gluten in this beer but since they add an enzyme during the brewing process that actually breaks down gluten on a molecular level, it's insanely low. In fact, the presence of it is below the 20 parts per million that the Codex Index uses to declare something gluten-free. If I had Celiac, I would have the brewery shipping me up this beer by the truck-load. And Mexico would be pay for the delivery. (Mexico: "WTF, man? Another Donald handing us a damn bill? How about 'no', you loco gringo?") Because not only does this gluten-reduced brew actually taste like beer, it's a damn good IPA.

The best gluten-free beer I've had up until now tasted like a Beck's. So okay, it did taste like beer... just not flavourful beer. But this? Huge pine and resin on the nose with notes of mango, pineapple and more pine on the tongue. At 7.7% and 80 IBU (international bitterness units), this is definitely the best gluten-reduced or gluten-free beer I've ever had. Once again, Stone proves it can brew no wrong.

Okay, this Canadian offering comes with a bit of a back story. Previously, my watering hole, Rib Eye Jack's Ale House had a biweekly Cask Night on Thursdays. Recently, GM Steve decided to forego the casks and now, every Thursday there's a set rotating tap attached to a 20-litre (5.3 gallon) keg and every week, it's a new beer.

The story behind this father-and-son brewery started
in 2005 when the father, Jim, right, gave his son, Gavin
a home-brewing kit for Christmas. The pair opened
the brewery last August and has seen some great local
support from the London community since that day.

I love that initiative because while I did enjoy many of the beers I tried over the years, I always found the carbonation far too low with the cask offerings. But a few Thursdays back, both servers Cara and Brit approached me separately as I sat down at the bar and said, "You have got to try the Anderson Craft Ales' IPA! So good!" With that duel endorsement, of course I did.

This was really quite nice. Not a ton of aroma on the 6.5%, 60 IBU beer, maybe the tiniest bit of pine, it kicked up nicely on the tongue with some citrus and melon. Not insanely-hoppy with a sly touch of malt but still, a very impressive first IPA. I pick up my son in London on Sundays when I have him for the week and am thinking this would be an excellent side-adventure for us. Alas, they don't open until noon. I'm usually scheduled to arrive a couple of hours earlier than that. And while it has been released into the LCBOs in six-packs of 355-ml (12 ounce) cans, unfortunately so far, only the four London liquor stores carry them. And in puritanical Ontario, LCBOs don't open until noon on Sundays so we can all go to church first. Uh-huh. Not sure what the province expects me to do until then but... oh, right, pick up my son. (Guys, please pray for my safe journey between Poker games on your phones during the service.)

Here's a little gift from either Glenn or Kylie, the
Oskar Blues IPA. I was so-so on their G'Knight Red
Imperial IPA but absolutely loved their Dale's Pale
Ale. So this was the tie-breaker. And it sure did that.

Now my London buddy, Big Al (a Toronto transplant with his wife and two kids some 20 years ago), said their Anderson Craft Ales' Amber was a great example of that all-malt-at-first, then slowly-come-the-hops beers. I seriously love those beers that add a new dimension halfway through the glass. But my ex's and my rendezvous point for the prisoner son exchange is on Highbury Avenue just off Highway 401 and is mere kilometres from the brewery so maybe next time? I'll delay the connecting just a wee bit. Or perhaps my boy and I can simply stay in London for lunch? He loves the David and Daddy Brewery Tours, especially the big-ass shiny vats. And I like adding numerous bottled passengers to the back seat. In the Daddy Game, we call that win-win. Anything but church. It always freaks me out a little when the Holy Water starts to bubble after I enter.

Okay, back to the brewing bros and lace ladies in the US of A with this next one - Oskar Blues (Longmont, Colorado) IPA.

While Forked River's What Lies Beneath Scotch Ale is a
dandy, I want to talk about their Flanders Red, which is
the sourest sour that I ever soured. So yeah, very sour. I
put that autumn leaf in front to show that like my buddy,
Drunk Polkaroo, I can incorporate nature in my pictures.
Okay, that just looks like a sad dead leaf on a glass table.

I either landed this little beauty, courtesy of either Beer Bro Glenn or Rib Eye Jacks beer technician Kylie (think it was Kylie but not sure), as they are the two that cross the border the most frequently. Whichever gave me this did me a pretty big solid. The first American craft brewery to can their beers (way back in 2002), Oskar Blues knows their way around an IPA. The cool little 12 ounce (355 ml) cans seems to be the brewery's size of choice, rather than the 16 ounce (473 ml) tallboy format, popular with most. (As you can see above, Anderson Craft Ales is also a fan of the smaller size.) But regardless of size, this 6.4%, 70 IBU brew has all the right stuff. Citrus and hints of peach on the nose, a nice piney bitter finish here. This is a really solid IPA. What has two thumbs and likes Oskar Blues beers? This guy! (You kinda have to see the gesture in your head.)

My former coworker Marie is feeling a tad neglected these as she has given me a healthy handful of beers that I haven't had a chance to review here yet. Well, buck up, little camper, you're not forgotten because here's those two fine offerings you gave me from Forked River Brewing in London. (Hmmm, maybe two brewery visits next time? I mean, it's London - how far apart could they possibly be? Also, I'm there, anyway. Twice the shiny vats for David.)

Okay, this Ballast Point Brewing Grunion Pale
Ale was definitely a gift from Beer Bro Glenn.
Every Ballast Point beer I have received from
Glenn has been totally excellent in its own right.

Okay, let's start with their What Lies Beneath Scotch Ale, the first beer created by their talented assistant brewer Diana Salazar as scotch ales are her favourite. Big time toffee on the nose, this 5.6% heavily-malted ale (shown above in the glass) is deep, rich and coffee on the tongue. A proper Scotch Ale, to be certain. Beautifully done, Diana! Which brings us to their Flanders Red sour ale. Recently, my other former coworker, Jay-Dawg, a huge sour fan, was raving about Bellwoods Brewing's Dark Sour On Cherries Ale. While sitting with Jay and the lovely Cara at Rib Eye Jacks after work on Saturday night, I had a chance to sample Cara's. Okay, yeah, that was bloody sour.

But this 6.7% Flanders Red, aged in a red wine barrel for a year, is the sourest sour I ever soured. Oh my lawdie, it give you some serious pucker face. I got cherries and plum on both the nose and tongue. A heapin' ton of sour. Wow. Plus $1 from every bottle sold went to the Soldier On program, which assists Canadian soldiers suffering from either physical or mental ailments so a damn good cause. Both beers were only available at the retail outlet (I believe) so thankfully, Marie got me these to enjoy. Two great beers but that Flanders Red really impressed!

Jay-Dawg recently alerted me to a beer sale
at Nickel Brook, where they were selling 24
bottles of their Headstock IPA for $32 or 24
bottles of their Naughty Neighbour Pale Ale
for just $30. Sale is still on, folks, as you can
see I jumped all over cases of Headstock just
yesterday. But move quickly as it won't last.
For starters, I'll be back tomorrow so hurry!

Back to America one more time and this time, I know I got this beer from Glenn - the Ballast Point Brewing's Grunion Pale Ale. Now moving back to breweries being bought up, something I touched on at the beginning, in late 2015, Ballast Point was bought for $1 billion (that's not a typo) by Constellation Brands, the company that distributes Mexican beers Corona and Modello in America. As far as I know, it's an arm's-length distance agreement whereby Ballast Point, founded in 1996, simply keeps cranking out good craft brews. But the $1 billion price tag is the answer to why some craft brewers are getting snapped up as that's some damn serious cheddar. But that's the business side of things and I'm here talking beer so let's look at that Grunion Pale Ale. 

For starters, a grunion is a small, silver fish found only off the coast of California in the Pacific Ocean whereas Ballast Point in San Diego is found only on land but also on the coast of California. I do know that no grunions were used in the brewing process. The 5.5%, 35 IBU (it tastes a little hoppier than that) ale has some light melon and orange on the nose with some very light bitterness and tropical fruit on the tongue. I wouldn't pay $1 billion for one but then I'm not an international conglomerate. I'm just a guy... sitting in front of a beer... saying lovingly, "This is SO on! You're going down!" I hold a different level of financial power altogether. One that's decidedly low.

Okay, there you have it. Three American beers, three Canadian beers. Hell, I'm practically a diplomat minus the actual diplomacy part. Meh, I'll work on that.

I said that I would be pointing to interesting labels as the
year progresses and here's a funky one from Collective
Arts Brewing. The brewery has fresh art on every label,
quite literally hundreds and hundreds of different ones.
So here's "Ziggy Obama" done by artist TRIK, who hails
from Haarlem, Netherlands. That is one cool graphic...

Before I shut this down altogether today, one more thing. Not long ago, I was asked why I'm always converting litres and millilitres into ounces or gallons (in brackets afterwards) and kilometres into miles for the benefit of American readers. The answer is quite simple. More Americans read this than any other country, including Canada. (Thanks, gang - I like your beers!) But more importantly, there are two types of countries in this world. They are those countries who use the Metric System so 99% of the world, except America and two countries I couldn't find on a map. And then, there are those countries who have successfully landed on the moon... so just the one country last time I checked. They shouldn't have to do the Math. They did the damn Moon. Hell, I can't even relate to millilitres or litres so why should Americans? I'll happily do the conversions for them. Google does all the work for me anyway and the Yanks invented that, too.

But since the Internet has come up in a round-about way, a word of caution for you all. I recently clicked on a YouTube link that warned, "Viewer discretion is advised as some might find the following disturbing." It turned out to be grainy footage of me cheering and clapping as I watched Batman vs Superman. I can't believe someone posted that. Pretty humiliating. But guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here. Until next time, I remain...